My Journey to the Cross – and Beyond

As published in The Window of Trinity Church, April 2013.

I can hardly believe the love I feel in my heart as I see these familiar faces, coming together, gathering for the solemn, critically important remembrance of the final few days in the life of our Christ.  My heart swells with a feeling of home; sanctified and humanized by the life we have shared with these members over the past two and-a-half years.  How surprising this is to me; how humbled I am to be symbolically held in the friendships we share in this space of Good Friday – inside this Sanctuary we have come to know as our church home.  It seems I may be becoming an Episcopalian. Continue reading

Trudy’s Birthday – also Earth Day

It’s difficult to remember Trudy today with the lightness of the Spring in which she arrived.  It has not been long enough for me to forget the physical torture and emotional languish of her battles with cancer and heart breaks.  I also can not dismiss the roles I played in the later – I was a joy and a thorn at times in the life of my sister.  

I hope to find and wear today a pin that I gave Trudy one birthday; it’s in the shape of the Earth and has the word F-R-A-G-I-L-E embedded into its metal. Continue reading

Light

My sweet husband had a dream recently where a deceased cousin, Cousin Jimmy, showed up. He said hi, and Les asked him, “what is it like”?  Jimmy answered, “when you all sing and feel joy, I can see you.  Not what you look like to one another, but as light.” 

Maybe this helps a little in light of the week this has been, and as we continue our prayers for so many.

Surrender

Unless my surrender is immediately followed by willingness to do it someone else’s way (asking for help and taking it), then I have not yet reached a point of surrender – I have only for a moment admitted defeat and despair and continue to live uncomfortably in the denial that tells me it is bad, but not bad enough to give up my ways and my thinking. 

Surrender yet may still come.  I’ll recognize it when it is quickly followed by action to accept another’s way of doing and thinking. The consequences of my past may still be at my door, yet I will sense hope that my future will not add to the pile of worry and fret.  And I will live more squarely in the day of choice with promise of a different tomorrow than before my personal turnstile of surrender.

in-spirit

What creative paths brought us to an evening where the sciences and arts collided – Geology and Jazz!  We drank in the buzz of fresh music (celebrating the CD release of a new friend Raquel Cepeda) and re-connected with old friends in new ways – music, photography, and just-for-fun hanging out at a Pub after midnight.  Inspiration continues to show up when we follow our passions and live “in-spirit”.  How brightly life feels when we do. 

Inspiration

The word “inspiration” has been following me around for a couple of weeks now.  This evening I hear its potency: to go “in spirit”, to sit “in spirit” with others and God, to be “in spirit” where mental twists and turns of personalities or judgments just do not exists anymore as a card to be played or parlayed.  “If we have carefully followed directions {God’s will, not mine}, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us.”  And the playing field becomes one common field of dreams and realities made good.