In my best intention, it is better to pray for my enemies without name as one man’s enemy may be another’s saint. And to name, the one over the other is to place my opinion above the wisdom and truth of the God I love.
But, to not pray for the enemy that steals love from my heart is human neglect if not spiritual dereliction. It leaves me vulnerable to the prey of self-righteous ego or influence of lesser angels of this earth.
Lord, soften my heart for those I make enemies. Lift me to trust beyond my own reason and estimation of wrongs. Show me the mercy of You in my time of fear. And grant us peace of Thy will be done.
And invited St. Thérèse de Lisieux to help me;
guide me in my clumsy, yet impassioned attempt
to create an icon for the love of her.
I see all of the limits of my artistry.
I cozy up with the usual harsh judgement against my talents
while hoping to not let the good be lost in pursuit of the perfect.
for one fleeting moment,
in an instant of senses from the deep seat of my soul,
I recognize co-creation.
I experience the companion.
I feel the love of a soul just one luminous veil beyond
touch, or reason, or sight, or sound.
It is a small, unsuspecting thing;
this delicate little flower from a garden of wild things and tame dreams;
sprung from seeds that I do not know that I know.
It is a little love for a soul.
Let us humbly range ourselves among the imperfect;
let us estimate ourselves as little souls whom the good God must sustain every instant.-Thérèse de Lisieux
It’s never too late
to start a spiritual practice for Lent.
It’s never too hard to try.
It’s never too much to ask
if I can be a little more aware
of my short comings,
and a little less quick to judge others.
It’s never too much of a sacrifice
to stop staring at the little me;
to pause and think, and see and serve the greater Us.
It’s never too soon to be a little more willing
to look beyond my more comfortable ideas of what caring,
and an act of compassion, might look like.
It’s never too early to remember Grace;
and to follow gentle forgiveness for myself and for my fellows.
It’s never too late to practice Love.
About this women’s march… I went. And I’m glad I did. And apparently, a whole bunch of others did too. But here’s the thing: I really struggled with my decision to go.
I had to get to my own reasons and motives. I needed to pray for God’s idea for me and talk with friends. And when I did, I started owning that I was afraid, and worried that my walking might endorse un-peaceful protest which I am very much against. I worried that my showing up would look like full endorsement of some beliefs that I do not hold, and, here’s the really embarrassing part, I worried about what people might think of me.
At 62, still worrying about other’s disapproval. Continue reading
Protect my heart
from what has made the hate of one another.
Return me again and again,
for as many times as worry,
fear or fault,
erupts in my defended cause of righteousness,
to pray for all;
for all of us.
For only in praying for all
can I trust myself
to pray as I believe
You would have me love.
I can no longer pretend that I have the wisdom,
to separate in prayer
who is worthy of your grace,
or your casting out of country or Kingdom;
so startling are these times.
So desperately I long for peace on your earth.
So acutely aware I am
of my own failings to love
that my prayers are best returned to the ones
that came from the desert of our Fathers,
and arrive in the morning of my despair.
Lord have mercy.
Christ have mercy on me.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on all of us.