



Yes, that is a lost, faded froggie pencil-topper on the side of the road. At first I thought it may have been a crushed robin egg, but of course not. It is autumn. At first, I walked on past it, but curiosity made me retrace my steps, lean down, take a closer look, and if I hadn’t – I would have missed it.
Yes, there are even more milkweed seed bursting than yesterday. I couldn’t resist filming their angel-hair webs floating in the wind with, admittedly, internal commentary about the hum of a single distant car. Then, just to my left, I noticed two wasps waltzing atop the last of this season’s flower. With my video still running, I could easily record their dance. If I hadn’t been drawn first to the milkweed seed, I would have missed it.
Deciding to return on the low road of rocks and wildflowers that eventually leads to a small park, I saw two men and a dog sitting on my – excuse me – the bench. Twinges of resentment show up. So does an ounce or two of my (ridiculous) social anxiety. As I got closer I sensed kindness. Unexpectedly, this feeling of ease and kindness seemed to be emanating from them, surrounding the scene and me. I stopped and quietly asked, would you like a picture of you two and the doggie? They lit up and answered, why yes, that would be nice.
As one of the gentlemen handed me a phone, the puppy (whose name I heard to be Gerdie) posed perfectly upfront and between the two, and why – I just couldn’t help but smile. I am so glad I pushed past my initial crabby and shy feelings because, had I not, I would have missed it.
I didn’t want to walk today. I was lured into a trance of staring out across the meadows and mountains and writing, scrolling – okay, maybe more scrolling than writing, and sipping strong black tea. I don’t know what magic spell or body memory interrupted the malaise as I donned my shoes and cap and Kleenex and headed out. Sometimes a moment of initiative becomes a doorway to the most wonderous things. I’m glad I didn’t miss it.

We’ve been here long enough to watch things change, as they do – cattails burst giving up of themselves, seedlings for next spring; the littlest of fawns growing up a bit, their soft white spots fading into tawny shades of brown; and orange cones removed, revealing fresh asphalted streets made ready for winter.
I am humbled by this chance to be in one place of beauty for more than a day. I am inspired and reminded to not get stuck or too in love with the ways things were when we arrived, and consider the present state – of the cattails, the fawns, the asphalt – as one shape of the process not the beginning or ending or whole of itself. Like me.
I’ve been here long enough to watch things change in me, and practice releasing what I cling to as unmovable suffering or ultimate sublime.

A little winded, I sat on the bench overlooking first – the ad hoc grassy pitch, then the sidewalk, the road, then the hill to the east and sky. Breathing in, breathing out, I pressed my back against the green grid backrest, shifting my line of sight from left to right, from right to left. And there it was – the slightest temperature change on my face as I turned toward and away from the sun. Shifting sunlight and shadows against my cheek carries sensations I had not noticed until just this moment on this bench.
It’s a delightful reminder – light carries warmth. Denied if I’m busy, irrefutable if I am still and present.

